I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
