his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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