Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
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