im drinking this country out of the recession.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
