I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
