anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
