thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
