very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
