chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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