when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
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I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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