So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
