no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
