you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
