She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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