That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
