Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
