google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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