it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you win again, gameday.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
