Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
