i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
