I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
