she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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