"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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