I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
