You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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