It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
handjob tips. give me some.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
