there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
