So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
