I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Someone shit on the floor
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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