i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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