so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
