Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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