Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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