"it" just moved
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.