my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway