never play flip cup with pint glasses
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.