you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain