i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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