I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
