New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize