so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
