Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
