And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
