His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
