Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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