We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
being pregnant is like rehab
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
