he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
