After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
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Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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