dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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