"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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