So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
