We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
