You smell like stripper and shame
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just found a bag of teeth...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
