Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
