If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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