I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
