Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
