lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
