spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
