Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
nutella sex= disaster
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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