He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
