the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
