I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
