if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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