u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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