Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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