Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
