That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
