I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.