you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?