Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
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another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
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Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure