I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
