he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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