so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
