theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
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because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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